No One Ever Reads These Things, Anyway.

1) I love you more than most would think necessary. Oh, well. Suppose it's not really their problem, now is it? But, yeah. I worry about how much you mean to me, and I think far too much about it. I need to quit it, but I honestly don't think my mind can really give it up. Dang.

2) Had a dream the other night. Didn't like it. Everyone was going to this big party, and they were gettin' all fancied up and stuff, and they all had dates. Everyone. Except me, naturally. So I sat, alone, for about an hour in this dream. Just me. No music, even!! And I disliked it. I've never been so close to tears because of a friggin' DREAM before. Meh.

3) I'm listening to the four teaser tracks that Intervision has had on their site for about four months now. And my brain is like EXPLOSION!! YOU MUST GET THIS ALBUM, KATELYNNNNNN!! DO IT NOW! Like HOLEY PHUCK, that man is a musical genius. Not sure how he does it, but all his songs make my brain go through soundgasms. And I really need to get my hands on the CD. Click -->THIS<--and you will see what I mean. The man's voice is AMAZING, and I NEEEEEEED more of his orgasmic vocal drugs.

4) Thoughts of you, mixed with the amazing colors and songs of Intervision, creates a very enjoyable cocoon of content that I can sink into. It's like a being underwater sort of feeling - having the pressure of the water all around you - but you can actually breathe. It makes my heart smile.

5) I miss my cat.

6) 'm not entirely sure why I'm writing all this on the here and now, but whatever. Intervision is amazing. Have I ever told y'all this slight fact? Like, really. I DARE YOU to listen to their three albums and NOT find a song that you identify with. Lalala, so very random right now.

7) I've reached a point where I can safely say that prolonged exposure to certain types of music has an effect comparable to people on a range of different substances. Take now, for instance. INTERVISION has effectively plunged me into a mildly self-pitying, interpretive, introspective thoughtbox that is useless to anyone for the next hour or so. Yey, drugs that I can't get in trouble for abusing.

8) "Sailors be warned, it's a red sky mornin'; the makin's of a perilous day..."

9) I don't want to be alone for the rest of mine life, noes. I also don't want to attempt another relationship and have it not work out. First time sucked enough as it is. Don't want to go through it again. No, no. I'll pass on that lovely little experience. However, I also know that if I'm too scared to try again, there's an even smaller chance that I'll end up with someone. What a vicious, furious cycle.

10) It's really weird. But. Out of the people I've genuinely liked (I can count them on one hand), The only ones. Who have actually liked me back. Are untouchable. I don't know if anyone else realizes how much that messes with one's mind. It's like, "Oh, you like me? I like you, too! Unfortunately, I don't like your genitals, so we can't be together." The irony in this next statement made me laugh, but I must write it to maybe sufficiently pass across my mindset at the moment, and maybe for longer than just this moment. Fuck. Genitals. (Immature mind goes 'Hee~') Like, seriously. Am I the only one who doesn't care what kind of underwear they wear? It's a personality thing, that I'm attracted to. And I'm RIDICULOUSLY in love with your personality, darling. However, you had to bring to light the fact that you dun like my underwears.

...Shit. I've just now realized (after the music has stopped and my mind is somewhat cooling) that I'm ranting about gay men and underwear. Dayum, Katelynn. This is almost a new low for you. V_V

 Last bit of music-induced bullshit before I leave you alone: I don't build walls to keep people out. I build them because I'm terrified that no one will love me enough to climb over them. And I realize how much sense that didn't make. Fuck.

...I need more Intervision.

...Fuck you, ABBA.

I was having an epic night. Then I listened too closely to a song. And the night becomes mildly less epic.


Damn ABBA.
---------------------------
I don’t wanna talk
About the things we’ve gone through.
Though it’s hurting me,
Now it’s history.
I’ve played all my cards,
And that’s what you’ve done too.
Nothing more to say,
No more ace to play.

The winner takes it all...
The loser standing small.
Beside the victory,
That’s her destiny.

I was in your arms,
Thinking I belonged there.
I figured it made sense,
Building me a fence.
Building me a home,
Thinking I’d be strong there;
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules.

The gods may throw a dice,
Their minds as cold as ice;
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear...
The winner takes it all.
The loser has to fall.
It’s simple and it’s plain;
Why should I complain?

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you? 
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name? 
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all...
-------------------------------------------
It's not that I'm still brooding about this. But it just irks me that I can still find ways that songs worm their ways into my life.


In other news, I GOT A JOB, BIZNATCH!! Gonna hafta get up so very early, but it's gonna be worth it. :D


That is all.


.

~Purely Dedicated to One Amazing Song~

...Night. And the Spirit of life.
...Calling... Mamela...

...And a voice,
...With the fear of a child
Answers... Mamela.

Ubukhosi bo khokho [Throne of the ancestors]
We ndodana ye sizwe sonke [Oh, son of the nation)]

Wait!!--There's no mountain too great.
Hear the words and have faith
...Have faith...

Hela, hey mamela...

He lives in you, He lives in me
He watches over everything we see
Into the water, into the truth
In your reflection; He lives in you...
------------------------------------------------


Yeah, I've totally got another one of those songs. You know the ones that you absolutely LOVE, and you can't stop listening to them, and you go for a day or THREE just listening to this song and singing it and humming it and posting lines from it on Facebook because it's JUST THAT AWESOME--and then you find another song that tears your attention away from it. :D


I think this is the third song within the week that I've had on repeat. Mhm, and it is a gooooood song. Plus, it's Swahili/Zulu, so I can sing to myself and no one will know what I'm saying. Hooray for more reasons to look at the black kid in a funny manner!!! 


((And OMG my drams are wigging me out. More on that at a later date. Mhm, yus.))


...Ingonyama nengw' enamabala...


(A Lion and a Leopard come to this open place., in case you don't understand Swahili. :P)