...Chill...

Yeah, that's pretty much the general consensus of the voices in my head. We're just chillin'. Not a whole lot to get work up over, and I'm gonna need this mindset to survive this weekend.

...Yikes. What am I doing writing a blog first thing in the morning? Voices in my head? Let's not, shall we? How about saying that the weekend is going to kick your freshman tookus if you don't calm down and relax. Relaaaaaaax. Much better.

As of today, I officially have no time to do everything I need to. I've a volleyball game to be Bandalicious in tonight. Simultaneously, I need to attend 'Dracula' for a CORE class write-up. And let's not forget about tonight's Chamber Music concert that bunches of my friends are playing in. Missing that would make me sad.

T_T I'm conflicted. Damn you, Homecoming Week! -shakes fist-

NO! No. I must remain... chill...

This is mah chill face. :3

I wonder...

How many people actually read these things? Like, really? I know that some crazy chick from Texas reads this--((Lolz, love ya, Mal.))--but other than that, who's out there?

Not that anyone would be interesting in reading my emotional outlet. They all but ignore me on Facebook anymore. :) So here is where I dump most of it. If I bother typing it, that is. Most of it goes into a well-worn notebook. So... yeah... I could totally rant on and on and on, spilling huge secrets like how I'm crazy about _____ ____, and how I _____________ in 6th grade, and how I really wish I was _______ and ________ so ___________, but I won't.

....Because you never know if anyone is watching these things...

>.>

Manik Munday

Tonight was too epic to go unchronicled. That, and I'm still kinda sorta hyper just a lot.

SOOOO, YEAH.

Met up with Lashily after J-j-j-jazz Choir, chilled for a few minutes at Targhee before heading off to Safari Pearl to get Costume details. Parked a few blocks away, walked a few blocks until I remembered where the freaking place was, then stared at the fangs and colored contacts in their pretty glass cases. o_o It was fun. Picked up some makeup, a cape, top-and-bottom fangs, and colored contacts. They didn't have the cat's eyes, and that made me sad. :(

ANYWHO.

Left Safari Pearl, headed to Goodwill, almost bought a sexy black top--until I discovered that it was a maternity shirt--and THAT ENDED RIGHT THERE.

ONTO WAL*MART! Saw Kara and Cari and Derrek, bought some munchies and argued about the pronunciation of certain words. ((It's PILLOW, darling. Not PELLOW.)) From Wal*Mart to WinCo! Bought food and a BUNCH of granola. Om nom nom.

And since we hadn't eaten since, like... 10:30, we decided to dig up some dinner. And golden arches look mighty alluring when you're hyper as hell and driving a little red car. ((Or maybe it's just me. I'm strange liek that. Baha.))

So we went to the Donald's of Mc--they have a great Uncyclopedia page, by the way--and ate. Reminisced about how sick of McD's we were during school, since we'd ALWAYS GO THERE for EVery FREAKing BAND TRIP!

Honor band? Let's go to McDonald's. Districts? McDonald's. Jazz Fest? Well, that was Granny's Buffet in Lewiston. But when that closed, we went to FREAKING MCDONALD'S!!!

...But that was forever a go, and we missed it. So we revisited our favorit-est restaurant ever. <3 Nothing like a McFlurry to revive your McMemories. I had a McSoda, too. To go with my McFries. And my McNuggets. And I had Mc-Hat Hair. No, wait... That's nothing to do with it.

WHY AM I SO HYPER, AHHHHHH!!!! O__O

Ashily threw a fry at me. And missed. So she made more work for the poor McSlaves that work there. Way to go, Lash. Because food service doesn't suck enough already. Have you no SOUL!?! -lapses into Subway rant-

And NEWS FLASH!! McFlurries are, apparently, COLD. This was unknown to my dearest pal, who stole my McFlurry on SEVERAL ACCOUNTS and then went through a series of facial expressions as she complained about how cold it was. Being the awesome friend I am, I contributed a polite 'Well, DUH'.

And then we drove home, unloaded Lashily's groceries, drove to Targhee. And, by the way, I am now the owner of the 'MOST EPIC PARALLEL PARKING JOB EVAH' trophy. So if you ever doubt me, go look at my little red car. Yay.

Aaaaaand, now I'm just sitting here, typing with nearly-shaking fingers as I giggle hysterically under my breath. It hurts!!!! So, uhm, yeah. Moral of the story: I rule at parallel parking, McMinions are to be pitied, and Katelynn Inman has some MAJOR hyperactivity issues to work out. BAHAHA!!

Ooh, one more thing: Megan  got me a pair of AFRO PICKS OH MY GAAAAWWWWWD! So happy now! I'm SO TOTALLY Fro-ing tomorrow. Maybe. If I still have enough energy. I hope I don't crash. I have theory tomozzle, and I must be fully functioning to take notes and shoot daggers at my TA simultaneously. It takes some doing, doncha know. ^_^

OKAY. I'm done now, I think.
...Tomorrow's gonna be... interesting.

Tee-hee!

Nameless; Continued

...They dance with their wondrous pinions of
beauty and
grace and
everything that I lack, and I watch with polite
envy,
wishing I could be as bright.
I try to twirl, but my sheenless wings
can't match
their grace
so I just stand alone and watch...

Nameless; Part 1

We have wings.
Theirs glisten and glitter and shine in the sun
as we dance on out mountaintop. They are happy and
sing in their glorious confidence.
They are beautiful.
My wings hide.
I think them dull and drab, not anything that
anyone would care to look at
as I
stand by myself and watch them dance. I am
shy and alone in my outcast state of mind...

Frideh, yey!

So, uhm, wow.
It's finally Friday.
This week has DRAGGED IT'S LAZY ASS. For serious. It took forEVER to end.

But now Friday is here. So I can maybe unwind just a bit. Figure out what I'm gonna do this weekend besides be a luvvly little music nut. I've got a football-band thing Saturday, and a Chili-Flute thing on Sunday. Plus sectionals. So. Music owns this weekend, I'm thinking.

BUT, that's okay because it's Friday, and nothing can ruin today.
Fricking NOTHING. Besides utmost disaster. But everyday bad things? Psht.

BRING-'EM OONNNNNN!

...Ouch...

It's not just emotional pain. It's physical.
I never thought it would get this intense, and yet here I am at midnight, blogging about it.
I hurt.
And it's a happy hurt, yet sad at the same time. Like a... I dunno. I can't even begin to make this coherent.

I walk around with a goofy grin plastered to my face whenever I see him. Guaranteed. It lasts roughly fifteen minutes, and I'm damn good at pushing it under a facade now, but you get what I mean. It's that happy-happy joy-joy, 'I can do f**king anything right now', on-top-of-the-world feeling. And it terrifies me. What am I supposed to do with this? Do I talk to him and get rejected and have that feeling shattered, or do I go on living with this amazingly sweet pain in the pit of my stomach?

Mmmmmeh. Emotional pensiveness is un-fun. But at least I'm not clogging up FaceBook anymore. :)

I don't get it...

What's the attraction? Could someone explain this to me, please? Everywhere I go, girls are swooning over total a**holes. Why is the 'bad boy' personality so appealing? Ladies, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who's going to get himself landed in jail on multiple accounts? And don't get me wrong, I'm not putting all bad boys into that s-type. But, still. What's so great about it?

And why are guys always so... Idunno... Stupid? And not in the sense of intelligence, but from what I've seen, a lot of guys seem to think that they have to be 'THE man'. Which seems dumb to me. All macho and muscly and super-strong and super awesome with a super big EGO just isn't okay. Idunno. This is just me talking. Some girls go for that, I guess.

And why is there a set image for 'THE man'? Has anyone else noticed this? That to be the super-manly-man, you have to be as tough as nails, not show any emotion that could get you labeled as 'weak' or 'sissy'. Oh. Wait. If you're pissed at the world, then you can show it. Then you can rip your neighbor a new feces evacuation tunnel, and people will accept that. Because you're being a manly man. Ooh.

Well, f**k that. I'm not into it.

Maybe it's just me, but if a guy isn't going to show emotion, then I might as well be hugging a tree. I'll date my cat. At least he shows emotion when he's happy to see me.

Maybe I'm too picky...? Is that why I'm still single? My horizons aren't broad enough? I'm not looking at the 'big picture'?

MAYBE I AM.

If I'm going to get in a relationship, I'm not the one to touch and go. Again, maybe I'm just weird like that. Too emotionally attached to people, perhaps? Meh, whatever my problem is, I seem to be alone in my views. :P

Back to the whole 'no emotion' thing: What's wrong with showing emotion, guys? Someone really needs to explain this to me. >_< Personally, I'd love a guy who'd show emotion. Not all over the place, but if we go to a movie of something, we'd both laugh at the funny parts and maybe both cry at the sad parts--YES, I CRY AT SAD PARTS, DAMMIT!

...What's wrong with wanting that? Manly men are too busy lifting weights or doing other crap to enhance their manliness... But what's wrong with the guy who just wants to sit and talk and hold you while you hold him? Is there anything wrong with that!?!

-mopes in lonely single's corner-