Mmm, life.

And no, not the cereal kind. Although that's pretty tasty too.
I like life. Life makes me happy. It's a good thing. I has good friends. I has good music. I has... ^_^ Hee-hee! Yeah. I has him, too. And that's a good feeling.

I'm chilling in a hotel room as I type this, waiting for something to happen so we can go get some breakfast, yums? Because waking up at six and heading to VMB rehearsal without eating is not enjoyable. So food sounds really awesome right about now...

Ehm... Christmas was alright. Pretty quiet, just me and Dad and the sibs. Not a lot of fancy gifts, either ((for me, anyway)). Got a set of snow tires (technically got them a few weeks before Christmas, but nyeh), a pair of shoes (chocolate shoes that hurt the feet need to be broken in OMGOUCH!), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (thankye, Daddeh!!), and SPORE for my computer. Because I'm going to have free time to be on my computer. Of course. @~@

Aaand, yikes. I think I've been away from deviantART for a while. 208 deviations in my inbox? Eep. -multitasks-

FOOOOOOD. -noms wallet- Okay. This is getting out of hand. I need to find something to eat before I devour one of my roommates. Whee. Off I go! :D

/rant

Okay. Exhale. My final is done. Over with huzzah.
And now--FREE TIME. @_@
I don't know what I'm going to do with it all. I can't really go anywhere until my little brother's present gets here... But if it doesn't get here before Saturday, I'm gonna have to leave anyway. Meh...

BUT.

Stress is GONE! And...
This is interesting.
Mildly frustrating, but interesting nonetheless.
This whole 'relationship' thing...
We had amazing timing. Getting together right before a month-long break... Hm. I wonder about it sometimes. There'll be a bit a of a reprise in the middle of it for the Humanitarian Bowl, but will we really be able to hang out that much??
And before you even start thinking things, I'm not complaining AT ALL. I'm just... thinking out loud. Because this intrigues the deep-thinker in me. Meh...

I really want this to work out. Really. Very much. Like... grargh, a lot.

And there's this underlying feeling--really small, yet VERY annoying--that he doesn't really like me. I know this isn't the case, because we wouldn't be in this situation if he didn't like me. But still. I'm afraid that he'll lose interest over break, and I really don't want that to happen... GRARGH.

/end rant

I think I get it now.

Trust.
I think that's all that's wrong with me.
I'm not trusting things to work out right.
There's a reason he agreed. There's a reason he thought about it. He's not doing this to humor me. He's doing this because he thinks it might work. Something might happen.
And all I need to do is trust him. Trust him not to let me down.
...And trusting myself wouldn't hurt, either. :/

-contented sigh-

...It almost feels weird. Almost.
Like--Hey, I have a boyfriend.
...It's alien, almost. Strange on my tongue. I feel almost silly saying it.

But it's an amazing feeling... And the smallest things make the biggest difference... I notice them the most...

His smile, and his laugh... I adore his laugh... and his EYES, Dear Lord...
-sigh-

...I wonder if he's reading this. That thought terrifies me and makes me smile all at once. Because, hey. That's the point of a blog, right? And I wouldn't post it if I didn't want people to read it... But still.
:3
And I can't help but wonder why... Not that I'm complaining, but...
How did I get this lucky? ^///^ I wonder what he sees in me...?

Blaaaaaargh. It feels weird.

...Almost. <3

P.S. I was never a fan of candy canes until tonight...

SoulTune

Colors and sound and shapes and speed and velocity and stars and

JUST

LIKE

THAT

the world gets brighter.

And you want to sing
and dance
and run
and F
         L
           Y,
But at the same time, nothing would make you happier than sitting and talking and having your arms wrapped around each other, and

A
h
h
h...

Maybe I'm thinking too fast
Maybe I'm headed for a cliff?
Maybe I'll do something wrong and mess this up and I'll be alone again, and

NO.

It won't. Too much thought. Too early to tell.
Good vibes.
Good feeling.
...It makes me want to sing
and dance
and run
and F
         L
           Y...

Indigo Tune...

Feathers.
Notes.
Quills.
Music.
I take one, and I write,
And from my quill flows the strangest tune...

...One.

I had an egg once.
It was a plain white egg,
simple and
pure and so very, very small.
It wasn't anything fancy, and it certainly wasn't anything like some of my friends had.
I was happy with it, though. It was mine, and I had grown up with it.

I was walking with it one day, holding to to my ear. I could hear
something,
whispering. I could hear something
calling, and
screaming, and
yelling, and as I walked with my egg, I

dropped it.

It s h a t t e r e d, and from it shot
LIGHTS and
COLOR and
sOuNd and
SHAPE.
And it surrounded me, and it enveloped me, and it spoke to me.

"One,"

it said, wrapping me in the brightest white. "Only one. One life to live. One life. What will you do?"
 
"...I don't know," I said. "But I will live it as it comes."
My eyes went wide as the colors changed, and a different voice spoke.

"One,"

it said, fanning the air around me with the clearest blue. "Just one. One truth to find. One perception. Can you see it? Where will you find it?"

"Truth is perception," I told the blue. "Truth is...unclear..."
The clearest blue flew to a harmonic green, and I heard the giggle in my ear:

"One,"

it laughed. "Merely one. One balance to hold. Will you heal the hurt? Justice the wrong? How will you grow?"

My heart sang in joyous reply: "One person holding balance might be a battle in itself. But I will push forward it as it presents itself."
Green's melody changed,  and violet filled my eyes. I waited for it to speak, but nothing came to my ear. And then, behind my eyes, a voice sang true--

"One,"

it said to me, filling my mind with peace. "Only one. One mystery to solve. One spirit. It flies--can you catch it? When you do, what will you do with it? Will you keep it in a cage, or let it fly free again?"

I raised my arms to the skies, calling to the heavens: "My spirit will always fly free, for to keep it caged would be tearing my heart from my chest."

My mind emptied, only to be flooded with the richest red. I was lifted from the ground by the enormity of it all, and the whispers echoed around me.

"One,"

it breathed, bathing my face in its warmth. "Simply one. One love, one heart to give. It yearns to soar, to dance with another. Will you let it? Who will you give it to?"

Tears flowed freely down my face, and I let the reply lift from my soul. "I yearn to let it fly, to let it dance. When the right melody begins, I shall give my heart to the music."

And then!

The 
LIGHTS and
COLOR and
sOuNd and
SHAPE
fled!


And I was alone again. With my shattered egg. I reached down to pick it up,
and found it

whole.

But I could feel the color inside it,
the
truth and the
balance and the
spirit and the
love and the
life...

All in one.

...Only one.

Fudgesicles, anyone?

So I had to go replenish my supply of tea the other night. Because I fought through that AWFUL raspberry herbal crap, and I'm all out of mint. So I got some more mint, and some chamomile. Love that stuff. And there's nothing quite like coming home from class with NO FEELING IN YOUR HANDS and trying to make a glass of hot tea. Tasty fun, aye.

..Hey, did I mention that it's BALLS COLD outside right now? And it doesn't look like it's gonna warm up anytime soon? -mutters obscenities about the temperature-

Uhm... what did Katelynn do today that's worth blogging about...?
Ooh. Fun. :3 Went to the mall to listen to bassoons play Christmas music. It was pretty much awesome. Pretty much. Yeah. Then went and got a friend's notebook bound--gonna do mine tomorrow morning. Bright an' early, aye! Then we went to grab fooooooood, since we had the munchies. And I'm being horrible in saying that McDonald's hates me because I'm black, but playing the race card is SO MUCH FUN at times. But yeah. The black kid gets cold fries, but we'll give the white guy a BRAND-SPANKIN'-NEW batch of HAWT fries.

:D I love my race cards.

Random interjection. BOND=bandgasm!! Love their music!! SO MUCH!! They make me revert to the "OMG I really wish I could play violin" mode that I thought I had grown out of. Oops.

And CRAP. It is BALLS COLD outside!! Example: I left my tea in the car when we went to McD's. We got back into the car. Tea was frozen. Frickin' FROZEN.

...Hah. I just read a status update on Facebook. It's rather ironic. -licks metal pole-

Mmm.... Irony.

Except I wouldn't be licking a metal pole in this weather--I'd lose my effing tongue. I did that once in first grade. Couldn't taste a thing for a week or so. It hurt sooooooo bad. X(

And OMG MY ROOMMATE JUST WALKED IN YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

*cough* Anywho.

In summary--It's cold in Idaho. Bassoons are epic. Music is amazing. McDonald's is... alright, for now. And I LOVE MAH ROOMIE!! <3 <3

COLD. -points to fingers- Frozen. Chocolate. Mm.

...Hm.

Interesting night. Ran the emotional spectrum again, that's for sure. Day started out pretty shatty. Had a disgustingly uncool Flute Tech session at 9:00. I was, needless to say, disgusted with myself, so after Tech, I headed to Ridenbaugh to 'straighten things out'. Things improved greatly from there.

Quick question: Is it strange that I have a favorite room to practice in? It's a really pretty room... Third floor, window to the gold-permit parking lot below. It's painted a light blue, with a red door. And a handful of ladybugs live in the corner above the window. I love that little room. It's quite live ((read: it echoes way too much)), which is bad when you're trying to work dynamics, but I ADORE THAT ROOM SO MUCH! It's my happy place. <3

After fluting in the Ladybug room for an hour, I went to my lesson with Dr. G. It was epic. Breezed through my technique, and my etude, and worked on my solo for juries. Yey, fun! Got an 'A' for the day!!

Sped home and cranked out a five page essay in two hours. Handed it in. Went to grab food. ((Note to self: End-of-the-day Chinese food isn't as good as you think it would be. Better to get it when it's fresh, yus.)) Laughed with the roomie and the Jenni until I had to flee to J-j-j-jazz Choir. Sung some sooooongs! La musica! We're singing a mass, and I LOVE IT. It makes me happy like none other. ^_^

Uhm... Yeah. Got back home, stressed over my Theory notebook, forced out a few more lectures. Nerded around a bit, drove to the hospital ((in my PJ pants)) to pick up a friend, yey. Got home, nommed some cereal, nerded more. Schemed about creating variously-themed days on FaceBook... Maha. >:D

Random note: There are some freaking ADORABLE songs out there, that are totally random! I was browsing the lists on Playlist the other night, looking for some songs to add to my collection, and I stumbled across this really random song. So I listened. And FELL IN LOVE.
It's Hikari's theme... from Digimon Adventures. XD It is FREAKING ADORABLE! I'm pretty sure I've listened to it over fifty times today. And my next challenge is to learn her on flute. Maha. B'cause learning by ear is tasty fun--and it reminds me of my many summer vacations spent in front of the stereo with a pile of CDs... and my flute. ^_^ So that makes... three that I've done. Two that I've actually figured out--one to go. I love anime soundtracks.

Aaaand, here I sit. Typing blog, listening to Hikari AGAIN. -switches- Eee! Madokaaaaaa!
Blargh. I'm tired. I can't brain anymore. I has the dumb. Time for bedz, my brain says...

Goodnight, everyone. May the morning find you whole and hale. <3

-blinkblink-

It scares me how I can come up with eye-opening revelations while I'm completely HYPAH-HYPAH-OH-MAH-GAWD.
...I've got a spoon hanging off my nose while I'm typing this. Dear God, what is wrong with me?

But I digress.

Take a moment. Think about yourself three, four, five years ago. Compare yourself to that age. Have you grown? Regressed? What have you learned?

I was skimming over my dA account this morning ((Like, half an hour ago. It's morning. Deal with it.)) and I just had to laugh at some of the art and literature I put up. It's like--"Wow, Katelynn. How far you've come..." But for serious. It's kinda neat, to see how you've grown through the years. deviantART is awesome for that. You build an account when you're younger, obsess over it for a year or so, then kinda drop away. I still go back semi-frequently, but meh. It's neat, though. ^_^ Old usernames, old RPs, old favorite pieces... Reminiscence FTW!!

>.>
<.<
-shamelessly advertises-
Huzzah, homepayge!! -clickmehplz-

/end profoundness

-squeegasm-

M-kay, so if this doesn't make your head asplode from the epic cute, NOTHING EVER WILL.

Click here and prepare for squeegasm.

So. Now that we've gotten that out of the way.

I'm pretty sure I've laughed harder than I have in over a year. It's like... nonstop giggles, hardcore. Sometimes, I really love some of the people I live with. For serious. I don't think I'd have this experience if I lived in any other hall. I honestly love them. I dunno what I'd do without them. <3 GAH, I love you guys so much! We're so offbeat and amazing and I LOVE TARGHEE.

...That is all. -mass hug- <3 <3 <3

-sniffles-

Must...
...not...
...cry.

Must go to sleep.

Must get off of animepile.com and GO TO SLEEP.

B-but it is so amazing! The suspense! The characters! THAT CONNIVING DAMN RABBIT.
I've officially fallen for that anime. Officially. After telling myself that I wouldn't get wrapped up in another one, I fall into its trap. But it's totally worth it. And I'm being deliciously vague--purposely. Because I'm coming off a virgin margarita high, and I can do that. :D So this is me, being random and vague and SO CLOSE TO CRYING.

Emotional potpourri. Mm, tasty.

...I'm going to lose it when Suisei Seki becomes lost...
-pouts-
3:

Intelligence Test--

--FAILED. SEVERAL TIMES OVER.

-beats head against desk-
Gragh, I can't believe I forgot my effing Theory notebook at HOME. Eff. Eff my life. Eff it all.
And it was beautiful, I thought. Nearly finished. Pertyful, it was. And now it sits, a hundred miles away, cold and lonely. And I think I've lost all motivation to give rise to a new notebook of equal amazingness. So I'm going to stall and mope until I get the motivation.

...Damn, I'm glad I don't drink. -goes to drown in tea-

-brooding silence-

Really dunno if anyone reads these anymore, but I figure it's still a good outlet. And if you are reading teh bloggage, don't hesitate to comment. Comments make me happy, aye.

...Anyway.

I realized Monday that I am beautifully torn between Moscow and Grangeville. I left Monday morning to go home for Thanksgiving, and as I drove out of town, my chest felt like there was a gaping hole in it--and I nearly started crying. I don't really know why, though. I knew I was going to be back in a few days, but why did it affect me so? And it was the same thing as I left home to return to Moscow earlier today. I really didn't want to go. It's like... Idunno.

I thought about it on the drive up, and came to this conclusion:
>>I didn't want to leave Moscow because in some recessed corner of my mind, I've made this place my home. And in that little recessed corner of my mind, the little-kid part of Katelynn screams, NO I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!! But I had to leave, because I had to get home. But I was already home. And... blah, this is tangly.

>>Vice Versa, almost. I didn't want to leave HOME because, well, it's my HOME! That, and I really worry about Dad up there by himself. And even though Dad was on his mail route when I left and I had the house to myself, I was freaking out. ((I don't think I've ever cleaned the kitchen that fast. Ever.)) I left before he came home, and I passed him on my way up to the 'Scow. But BLAH, why does this ache plague me in such a manner!?

-lapses back into brooding silence-

OMG I HAVE A THEME SONG!!

IT'S ADORABLE!
And you will probably hate me for getting this stuck in your head, but it'll be so worth it.

Watch it. Love it.
http://www.fetchfido.co.uk/games/chocs/chocs.htm
...'Cause everyone loves the chocolate.

Pizza virginity...

I had it. Lost it. And it only took me... what, three months?
That's right, folks. I've finally ordered a pizza in college. Domino's.
Build-your-own pizza-online thing. It was dangerously fun... Extra pineapple, Italian sausage, banana peppers, mushrooms, and provolone cheeeeeeese. Mmm, gigity.
It was delicious, by the way. And I'm still munching, and I need to stop before I eat the whole thing--which would just be gross. :D And I'll need brekkist in the morning, right? Right.

Haha... I've been living here too long. Because 'Pizza Virginity' was the first title that came to mind.

Uhm... Clouds are lame, because I can't see the meteor shower. And to end on a totally irrelevant note--The hardest conversation begins with a single word. ;)

One Simple Request

A close friend of mine recently lost her little brother to a severe fever. I ask that you pray for her and her family, and ask the Lord to keep that little boy in his care. I know you don't know her. And I know it's strange, me asking for this. But would it really kill you to take thirty seconds out of your day to send condolences and prayers their way?

...Thank you.

Shoot the Moon ((Experimental Snippet, Yo.))

So, yeah. I was rifling through the 'Shoebox of Doom' folder on my PC this morning, and I came across this bit. I totally forgot about it, but as I scanned it, I had to grin. Because this was one of my favorite 'bits'. It was awesome. If y'all could read it, maybe give me some feedback? Much obliged.

------------------

“Cassity, wait!” I grabbed her sleeve as she moved for the door. “What do you mean, ‘back home’? You said you’ve lived here all your life.”
She calmly removed her arm from my grip and turned away. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Oliver.”
I watched her leave, watched her shining blue bracelet flash as it went out of sight. The bracelet that would go berserk from time to time, causing Cassie to suddenly have to leave. The same bracelet that she nearly killed a man to get back. The bracelet that she would continue to leave me in the dark about whenever I asked about it. I sat there for a moment, bewildered, and it finally all clicked. “Cassity!” Launching myself out of my chair, I flew into the hall and towards the front door. She was pulling on her raincoat, and her singular piece of jewelry was still shining like mad. “Cassie, wait! Let me talk!” She was still ignoring me as she slipped into her boots and reached for the door handle. I pushed her gently out of the way, locked the deadbolt, and turned my back against it, blocking her way out. “You aren’t human, are you?”
“I’m as human as you are, Ollie.” Her green eyes were so calm, so collected. It frustrated me.
“Then you’re from the future!”
She finally smiled, but it was a sad kid of smile, and I hesitated. She motioned me aside, and I found myself complying, wondering why she looked so cheerless. “Am I right?”
“No, Oliver,” she said, shaking her head. Undoing the deadbolt, she twisted the knob and let the door swing wide.
It was pouring.
She turned and smiled again, her green eyes looking more morose than anything I’d ever seen. Her bracelet twinkled still, a radiant diamond on her wrist.
“You are from the future,” I breathed.
Again, she shook her head. “No, Oliver. I’m from the past.”

Who. The Hell. Do You Think You Are?

"Well, that's just not okay with me. You're too accepting of people's differences."

...Uhm, excuse you?
The only reason this woman still walks the earth is because I don't know her that well. That, and the fact that we were separated by the interwebs may have saved her life.

Somehow we got onto the subject of sexual orientation. I should've stopped right then and there--I could feel that her mind was narrowed. But I failed to change the subject in time, and I paid for it.

I said that I had no problem with homosexual couples. It's not how I fly personally, but I'm not affected by anyone else's decisions. She said that was weird. I said that one of my best friends is gay. And he's not shy about it. We all know it, and we all accept it. I stated that he was one of my personally close friends. And that's when it started.

"Well, that's just not okay with me. You're too accepting of people's differences."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Why should it matter whether I'm too accepting? How does it affect her? And HOW can I be too accepting? Should I be less accepting? I'm sorry, but it's just not like me to be a total ass just because you happen to like the same sex. I've found that gays are usually more enjoyable to be around than some straight people I know! What's wrong with that? Since when is being accepting a BAD thing?

...Rawrgh. There goes my week. -sets things aFLAME-

...Chill...

Yeah, that's pretty much the general consensus of the voices in my head. We're just chillin'. Not a whole lot to get work up over, and I'm gonna need this mindset to survive this weekend.

...Yikes. What am I doing writing a blog first thing in the morning? Voices in my head? Let's not, shall we? How about saying that the weekend is going to kick your freshman tookus if you don't calm down and relax. Relaaaaaaax. Much better.

As of today, I officially have no time to do everything I need to. I've a volleyball game to be Bandalicious in tonight. Simultaneously, I need to attend 'Dracula' for a CORE class write-up. And let's not forget about tonight's Chamber Music concert that bunches of my friends are playing in. Missing that would make me sad.

T_T I'm conflicted. Damn you, Homecoming Week! -shakes fist-

NO! No. I must remain... chill...

This is mah chill face. :3

I wonder...

How many people actually read these things? Like, really? I know that some crazy chick from Texas reads this--((Lolz, love ya, Mal.))--but other than that, who's out there?

Not that anyone would be interesting in reading my emotional outlet. They all but ignore me on Facebook anymore. :) So here is where I dump most of it. If I bother typing it, that is. Most of it goes into a well-worn notebook. So... yeah... I could totally rant on and on and on, spilling huge secrets like how I'm crazy about _____ ____, and how I _____________ in 6th grade, and how I really wish I was _______ and ________ so ___________, but I won't.

....Because you never know if anyone is watching these things...

>.>

Manik Munday

Tonight was too epic to go unchronicled. That, and I'm still kinda sorta hyper just a lot.

SOOOO, YEAH.

Met up with Lashily after J-j-j-jazz Choir, chilled for a few minutes at Targhee before heading off to Safari Pearl to get Costume details. Parked a few blocks away, walked a few blocks until I remembered where the freaking place was, then stared at the fangs and colored contacts in their pretty glass cases. o_o It was fun. Picked up some makeup, a cape, top-and-bottom fangs, and colored contacts. They didn't have the cat's eyes, and that made me sad. :(

ANYWHO.

Left Safari Pearl, headed to Goodwill, almost bought a sexy black top--until I discovered that it was a maternity shirt--and THAT ENDED RIGHT THERE.

ONTO WAL*MART! Saw Kara and Cari and Derrek, bought some munchies and argued about the pronunciation of certain words. ((It's PILLOW, darling. Not PELLOW.)) From Wal*Mart to WinCo! Bought food and a BUNCH of granola. Om nom nom.

And since we hadn't eaten since, like... 10:30, we decided to dig up some dinner. And golden arches look mighty alluring when you're hyper as hell and driving a little red car. ((Or maybe it's just me. I'm strange liek that. Baha.))

So we went to the Donald's of Mc--they have a great Uncyclopedia page, by the way--and ate. Reminisced about how sick of McD's we were during school, since we'd ALWAYS GO THERE for EVery FREAKing BAND TRIP!

Honor band? Let's go to McDonald's. Districts? McDonald's. Jazz Fest? Well, that was Granny's Buffet in Lewiston. But when that closed, we went to FREAKING MCDONALD'S!!!

...But that was forever a go, and we missed it. So we revisited our favorit-est restaurant ever. <3 Nothing like a McFlurry to revive your McMemories. I had a McSoda, too. To go with my McFries. And my McNuggets. And I had Mc-Hat Hair. No, wait... That's nothing to do with it.

WHY AM I SO HYPER, AHHHHHH!!!! O__O

Ashily threw a fry at me. And missed. So she made more work for the poor McSlaves that work there. Way to go, Lash. Because food service doesn't suck enough already. Have you no SOUL!?! -lapses into Subway rant-

And NEWS FLASH!! McFlurries are, apparently, COLD. This was unknown to my dearest pal, who stole my McFlurry on SEVERAL ACCOUNTS and then went through a series of facial expressions as she complained about how cold it was. Being the awesome friend I am, I contributed a polite 'Well, DUH'.

And then we drove home, unloaded Lashily's groceries, drove to Targhee. And, by the way, I am now the owner of the 'MOST EPIC PARALLEL PARKING JOB EVAH' trophy. So if you ever doubt me, go look at my little red car. Yay.

Aaaaaand, now I'm just sitting here, typing with nearly-shaking fingers as I giggle hysterically under my breath. It hurts!!!! So, uhm, yeah. Moral of the story: I rule at parallel parking, McMinions are to be pitied, and Katelynn Inman has some MAJOR hyperactivity issues to work out. BAHAHA!!

Ooh, one more thing: Megan  got me a pair of AFRO PICKS OH MY GAAAAWWWWWD! So happy now! I'm SO TOTALLY Fro-ing tomorrow. Maybe. If I still have enough energy. I hope I don't crash. I have theory tomozzle, and I must be fully functioning to take notes and shoot daggers at my TA simultaneously. It takes some doing, doncha know. ^_^

OKAY. I'm done now, I think.
...Tomorrow's gonna be... interesting.

Tee-hee!

Nameless; Continued

...They dance with their wondrous pinions of
beauty and
grace and
everything that I lack, and I watch with polite
envy,
wishing I could be as bright.
I try to twirl, but my sheenless wings
can't match
their grace
so I just stand alone and watch...

Nameless; Part 1

We have wings.
Theirs glisten and glitter and shine in the sun
as we dance on out mountaintop. They are happy and
sing in their glorious confidence.
They are beautiful.
My wings hide.
I think them dull and drab, not anything that
anyone would care to look at
as I
stand by myself and watch them dance. I am
shy and alone in my outcast state of mind...

Frideh, yey!

So, uhm, wow.
It's finally Friday.
This week has DRAGGED IT'S LAZY ASS. For serious. It took forEVER to end.

But now Friday is here. So I can maybe unwind just a bit. Figure out what I'm gonna do this weekend besides be a luvvly little music nut. I've got a football-band thing Saturday, and a Chili-Flute thing on Sunday. Plus sectionals. So. Music owns this weekend, I'm thinking.

BUT, that's okay because it's Friday, and nothing can ruin today.
Fricking NOTHING. Besides utmost disaster. But everyday bad things? Psht.

BRING-'EM OONNNNNN!

...Ouch...

It's not just emotional pain. It's physical.
I never thought it would get this intense, and yet here I am at midnight, blogging about it.
I hurt.
And it's a happy hurt, yet sad at the same time. Like a... I dunno. I can't even begin to make this coherent.

I walk around with a goofy grin plastered to my face whenever I see him. Guaranteed. It lasts roughly fifteen minutes, and I'm damn good at pushing it under a facade now, but you get what I mean. It's that happy-happy joy-joy, 'I can do f**king anything right now', on-top-of-the-world feeling. And it terrifies me. What am I supposed to do with this? Do I talk to him and get rejected and have that feeling shattered, or do I go on living with this amazingly sweet pain in the pit of my stomach?

Mmmmmeh. Emotional pensiveness is un-fun. But at least I'm not clogging up FaceBook anymore. :)

I don't get it...

What's the attraction? Could someone explain this to me, please? Everywhere I go, girls are swooning over total a**holes. Why is the 'bad boy' personality so appealing? Ladies, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who's going to get himself landed in jail on multiple accounts? And don't get me wrong, I'm not putting all bad boys into that s-type. But, still. What's so great about it?

And why are guys always so... Idunno... Stupid? And not in the sense of intelligence, but from what I've seen, a lot of guys seem to think that they have to be 'THE man'. Which seems dumb to me. All macho and muscly and super-strong and super awesome with a super big EGO just isn't okay. Idunno. This is just me talking. Some girls go for that, I guess.

And why is there a set image for 'THE man'? Has anyone else noticed this? That to be the super-manly-man, you have to be as tough as nails, not show any emotion that could get you labeled as 'weak' or 'sissy'. Oh. Wait. If you're pissed at the world, then you can show it. Then you can rip your neighbor a new feces evacuation tunnel, and people will accept that. Because you're being a manly man. Ooh.

Well, f**k that. I'm not into it.

Maybe it's just me, but if a guy isn't going to show emotion, then I might as well be hugging a tree. I'll date my cat. At least he shows emotion when he's happy to see me.

Maybe I'm too picky...? Is that why I'm still single? My horizons aren't broad enough? I'm not looking at the 'big picture'?

MAYBE I AM.

If I'm going to get in a relationship, I'm not the one to touch and go. Again, maybe I'm just weird like that. Too emotionally attached to people, perhaps? Meh, whatever my problem is, I seem to be alone in my views. :P

Back to the whole 'no emotion' thing: What's wrong with showing emotion, guys? Someone really needs to explain this to me. >_< Personally, I'd love a guy who'd show emotion. Not all over the place, but if we go to a movie of something, we'd both laugh at the funny parts and maybe both cry at the sad parts--YES, I CRY AT SAD PARTS, DAMMIT!

...What's wrong with wanting that? Manly men are too busy lifting weights or doing other crap to enhance their manliness... But what's wrong with the guy who just wants to sit and talk and hold you while you hold him? Is there anything wrong with that!?!

-mopes in lonely single's corner-

Back in the Loop!

M-kay. My previous attempt at keeping anything that vaguely resembled a blog died after high school. Now that I'm in college--and able to reconnect with most of the friends I've made over the magic of the Interwebs--I'ma try my hand at this again.

SO. Here goes... somethin'.

As of now, school is pretty bomb. I just got a haircut, which is wickedly cute in most people's opinions. Dropped my Journalism major to focus solely on la Musica... something I'll never regret.

Seriously, folks. There are some awesome people in this Music Program. For reals. You've got the funny ones, the serious ones, the funny drunks, the serious drunks, the resident psycho, the flutes, the trumpets (who need hats three sizes larger than anyone else), the saxophones (WOOT!), and everybody else.

And then there's me. But you know about me.

So... Yeah. Quick blurb for a first post. Yay, me.

...Gawd, this layout needs to be changed...