...Well. ((MASSIVE THOUGHTDUMP ALERT.))

I'm such a sad, confused being. Can't possibly be human, because I'm sure that normal people don't have my problems. Pfft.

And with that intro, lets begin the thought-dump, shall we?

Firstly, we'll start with music. You all know that I love it (or you damn well should know by now, at least) and that I use it to define moments in my life. At the current moment, life can be summed up in the follwoing two songs:

Blue October's "Jump Rope", and
Vienna Teng's "Stray Italian Greyhound".

Unfamiliar? Let's run through these, briefly.

The gist of "Jump Rope" is this: Sometime life sucks. Sometimes it'll feel like you're on top of the world. Up, down. "Life's like a jump rope". Kinda where I've been the past few weeks, if you're just now joining us. It's an epically cheerful song, though, and the newest addition to my tiny 'Endless Repeat' playlist.

"Greyhound" is a bit more... specific. Annoyingly so.

I've essentially resigned myself to the fact that college is going to be a single endeavor for me. I've gotten used to really liking someone, and then realizing that I have my eyes on someone who isn't interested (either that, or they aren't into people like me, but we won't go there). Essentially, I've grown 'content' with the fact that I'll most likely be alone for the next few years. I'm kind of okay with it. It doesn't bug me as much as it should, sitting on the sidelines and watching as my friends find partners, and holding said friends - wiping their tears when things don't go as planned. It's just kinda my thing, I guess.

((Tangent update:  TOTALLY GOT MY DS EMULATOR WORKING. PLATINUM IS MINE, AGAIN!!!))

Aaaaaand then THIS happens. Someone comes out of the blue (except not really) and looks like he might actually have a genuine interest in me. And now I'm like, well SHIT! Don't get me wrong, it's actually kinda neat that someone thinks I'm worth that, but at the same time, I can't help but freak.

Lyrics to "Stray Italian Greyhound".

"Oh no not now... 
Please not now...
I've just settled into the glass half empty,

made myself at home.
And so why now? 

Oh, please not now...
I just stopped believing in happy endings, 

harbors of my own

But you had to come along, didn't you?
Break down the doors, throw open windows.
Oh, if you knew just what a fool you have made me...
So what do I do with this?

This stray Italian greyhound, these inconvenient fireworks,
This ice-cream covered, screaming hyperactive thought?
God, I just want to lay down, these colors make my eyes hurt;
This feeling calls for everything that I am not..."

Sooo.... Yeah. First verse + chorus. Sums it up pretty well, I think.

And I can't help but laugh at myself. For the past three semesters I've been 'bummed'-ish about being single, and now that someone may be interested, I don't know what to do with it. Urgh.

And then, of course, there's the major 'WHAT IF'. 

What if it works out? 

What if it goes farther than just a few dates? (Oh, damn. I actually used the 'd' word.)

What if it goes father than just a few months?

What if it... works?

I'll have to tell him about me eventually, if we work out. And if he's that serious about it, I really have little fear. But still.

Aaaaand, holy shit. I read into that a fuck ton more than I should've. Way to overreact like always, Katelynn. Pfft.

We'll see how this goes, though. I'm holding all judgement until after our lunch tomorrow. Then things go down.

SUBJECT CHANGE, WHOOOOSH!

The coffeeshop on campus spelled my name right today. I took a picture. It never happens.

Oh. YOU. Just wanted to drop by and say a few words.

-ahem-

Any shreds of respect I may've once had for you are gone. I'll be decent in your presence, but I won't go out of my way to accommodate you. Not any more. I hate to say it, but you aren't the friend I remember you being. You've changed, and frankly, I really don't like who you are now. And I definitely can't stand you and your newest victim as you mush all over each other like a pair of eels. Seriously. I'm tired of putting on the "Lolz, you two are adorable" mask, because I'm two clicks away from being completely fed up. I really don't want to do it, lady. I don't like being a bitch. But still.

....Aaaaaaand that concludes this episode of Thoughtdump. Tune in next time, kids.